Our journey to our fourth daughter truly began before Brielle was in our arms. While we were waiting to travel to China the first time, we discussed the possibility of reusing our dossier for another baby vs. starting over with a new dossier. We discussed boy or girl, how soon we would start the process again, and how it would be different the next time since we were now familiar with the process. The day we left for China, I knew we'd be adopting again... until we actually got to China.
Everything in China was perfect. It was like a dream. We fell in love with the culture. Brielle was AMAZING! We loved our guides, the hotels, the food, the family we traveled with, our experience with the orphanage, and the gorgeous sight-seeing. A few days after we got Brielle, I remember discussing how there is no way things would go that well a second time. In complete honesty, I was afraid I would compare the next adoption to this surreal, paradisaical experience we were having with Brielle. I didn't want it to affect how I would bond with the next child. I didn't want to risk things being completely opposite the next time. I thought- there is no way we'd get such a sweet, affectionate, smart, and beautiful child again. It was all an attack from the enemy--- trying to convince us that something so perfect couldn't be repeated.
We came home on May 3rd and I kept waiting for something bad to happen. Everyone talks about how hard adoption is, how it's not all rainbows and fairytales. Sure, there were some adjustments, but truly, our adoption was easy. Again, I was plagued with the fear that it just couldn't be that good again, and we decided maybe going back to China wasn't in our plans.
Until May 18th. It just happened to be our 10 yr anniversary. Alex was already in bed reading and I was up looking at adoption websites, blogs, and photolistings of waiting children. I felt that familiar tug in my heart for those children--- waiting without a mommy and daddy. God reminded me that Brielle was all of those wonderful things to me because she was mine. He gave us those "rose-colored" glasses to see past her imperfections so that we would love her the way He loves us. He reminded me that He would equip us again. He would go before us and it would be ok, even if it wasn't easy or perfect.
He was calling us back to China.
And I felt like Jonah sitting in the belly of a whale, realizing I was making excuses not to go where He was telling us to go.
As I crawled into bed next to my husband of 10 years, I said, "We have to go back."
He simply replied, "I know."
And peace... That was it. We would have another daughter from China.
Fast forward to the end of October, we were on our way home from our 6-month post placement visit when a dear adoptive mommy friend sent me a link about a little girl from Brielle's orphanage. We were smitten. Alex was trying to figure out how quickly we could get her home. I was researching her special need- a need we hadn't previously considered. We must have watched her video at least 200 times. We prayed about her for 2 weeks. The international adoption doctor told me, "It's not about how much you want her, it's about whether or not you are the right family for her." We knew then God was telling us she wasn't the one, but it definitely made us realize we were ready to start the process again. (I have since been in contact with that little girl's forever family. She is soo meant to be in there family, and I love that God has allowed us to still watch her grow up in the Christian family He chose for her!)
So, we signed on with an adoption agency, contacted a new Home Study agency, and on Alex's 34th birthday in December, we had our 1st home visit for Baby B #4! We received our immigration approval in March. Once all of the paperwork was sealed by the Sec of State and authenticated at the Chinese Consulate, we were ready to send our dossier to China. The problem-- which adoption agency to actually use! We had started with a new agency this time that has outstanding reviews- partly to have a different travel experience and to get a referral of a child somewhere else in China- a place we haven't visited yet. But, after chatting with one of my AP friends online, I was prompted to call our previous agency (the one we used for Brielle and had a good experience with). I found out they were still getting children's files from the partnership they have with 3 orphanages in Jiangxi province, one of which is Brielle's. After discussing it, we decided it would be really special for our girls to be from the same province and maybe even the same orphanage. Our desire to see a new part of China wasn't as important as our girls having a small part of their history to bond over.
On April 12th, our dossier was sent to China and officially logged in on April 19th. At this point, we are officially ready for a referral. Our agency had been getting batches of files every couple of months and since the last batch came at the end of January, we (and the agency) fully expected another batch to come at the end of March or early April. But, keeping with typical adoption fashion of always being prepared for the unexpected, our agency was notified that the files wouldn't be coming then after all. It was a bit of a let down, but we trust in His perfect timing!
Our agency really thinks we will be matched with our little girl by the end of summer, so I hope they are right! :) Logistically, it would probably work out better for us to get a referral in late summer/early fall since we would travel about 5-6 months later. Uncle Adam's wedding is in December in Key West and we don't want to miss it! It would be nice to travel in the spring again. Trying to find the positives of waiting, but, you better believe I can't wait to see who our little girl is and will be ready to jump on a plane to get her as soon as we can! ♥
That's our story. We are expecting a new little blessing from China!
We can't wait to tell her how much she was wanted, prayed for, and loved!
We can't wait to teach her about her Creator, our Redeemer and Saviour!
We can't wait to add another branch to our family tree.
Beyond thankful. So very Blessed.
