Before we traveled to adopt Beilyn, Alex told me he thought we were done adopting. I was disappointed but understood. Adoption is expensive and requires him to be away from work (with limited access) for several weeks. Yet I still had a feeling our family wasn't complete.
Several months passed. We arrived in China, met Beilyn, and finalized her adoption the following day. The very next morning, we were sitting outside on a bench in Nanchang when my husband said the words, "When we come back for our next adoptions...." I said, "What?!" Besides the fact that he had told me no more adoptions, we had just had a
really hard 2 days in China with Beilyn and I was still trying to catch my breath. He said, "Well, I know our hearts will bring us back. And when we adopt then, we will want to come back again." ♥ So I guess our journey to Juan began on May 6, 2014.
In August 2014, we discussed starting the process again but didn't feel peace about it. In early March 2015, I attended the Created for Care conference. When I returned home, I told Alex it was only a matter of time until we adopted again so maybe we should slowly start the process. He agreed and on March 14th, I emailed our home study agency about doing a "HS update" with our 1 yr post-placement visit for Beilyn in April. The
very next morning, I was home from church with a sick Beilyn when I found a Facebook message from Nicole, a lady from our adoption agency (completely separate agency and unaware of the message I had sent our social worker the day before). She was in China and had met a little boy at one of their partnership orphanages who reminded her of our family! She sent two pictures with a quick message saying he had a minor heart defect. No name, no location, no age, no details about his heart defect. When I saw him, my heart skipped a beat. He looked like a boy version of Brielle. When Alex got home from church, I told him, "So I'm not pregnant, but if we were ever going to have a 'surprise pregnancy,' this would be it." I showed him the pictures. He said, "OK." It was that easy. I started collecting papers for the HS update the next day! A week later on March 23rd, I had a new message from Nicole. The little boy was going to be adopted domestically by a Chinese family. I was happy for him but I cried for us. Then the next day, March 24th...I found out I was pregnant. What an emotional week! (And the funny thing is that after 8.5 years, I
was actually pregnant when I told Alex about the little boy! 😄)
Even though we knew we couldn't adopt that little boy, we decided to continue the adoption process. It was the most laid-back process because there was no need to rush anything since I was pregnant. Though, I will say that asking references to fill out adoption papers for us while I was sporting a pregnant belly made them look at me like I had two heads. 😆 We sent our dossier to China the same month Bria was born. Then it was time to wait...
Since we preferred to maintain birth order, we anticipated waiting until Bria was at least a year old before getting matched. Then a few things came up that postponed when we went off "hold" with our agency. In July 2017, China issued new rules stating a family could only have 5 minor children in the home and the youngest child had to be at least 3 years old. I was a mess and feared we had waited too long. Thankfully, a few days later, we found out we would be "grandfathered in" under the old rules. It was the first time it had actually made sense of why God prompted us to start the process when we did.
Finally, in the fall of 2017, we told our agency we were ready for a match. On November 14, 2017 as we were getting the girls ready for bed, Nicole called. She had a possible match for us. She said she had a little girl that made her think of our family because she had a bald little head like Bria had. She said "she is younger." (To maintain birth order, we had told our agency we were open to children born March 2016 or younger. Honestly, we had hoped for at least a 6 month gap between Bria and the new baby (which would have been June 2016 or later) but I felt so strongly about a March baby that I included March.) So when she said "younger," I was thinking Fall-Winter 2016. When she said March 2017, my heart stopped and my eyes teared up.
♥ A March baby?! ♥
And then my heart panicked a little! ha! That meant she was only 7 months old! While we did want to maintain birth order, we had assumed the child would be closer to Bria in age so we were anticipating traveling to pick up a 2 yr old!
My mind was spinning and I was trying to guard my heart because she had warned me that the baby's special needs were not on our medical check list. I tried to listen and pray at the same time.
She was born with a tracheoesophageal fistula and esophageal atresia, or TEF/EA.
I was slightly familiar with TEF/EA because it can be part of VACTERL association, which we researched when adopting Beilyn. I told her I needed to talk to Alex and would get right back with her.
A few minutes later, I texted back saying we would like to see her file. While I should have been going to bed (Beilyn's tethered cord surgery was early the next morning!), I opened the file on my phone and saw this bald little baby with a bit of a scowl on her face.
I smiled. There she was. My daughter #6.
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| The first photo I saw of her. |
Early the next morning, we spent the two hour drive to Indy discussing her special needs and staring at the two, small photos we had of her. I reached out to a few adoption moms who have children with TEF/EA and sent her file to be reviewed by an international adoption specialist. We spent the next few days talking about her while taking care of Beilyn in the hospital. We had lots of questions, and yet we both felt a peace that she was ours.
After praying about her and discussing her medical needs with some specialists (which really just seemed like a formality by then), we told our agency "Yes" on November 29th. The next day, we received the rest of her file (They black out certain identifying information to protect the child's privacy.). We learned more details about our tiny girl, including her name, Juan 娟 (pronounced Joo-en), confirmed that she was in Nanchang (same orphanage as Beilyn!), and her official birth date, March 30th. I finally had a birthday buddy. 💖
After waiting a long 14 weeks, our agency received her official file on February 22nd and locked it for our family. They sent our Letter of Intent to adopt her that night (which was the morning of February 23rd in China) and within a few hours, our LOA had been issued!! (That's the same approval we waited 99 days for with Brielle's adoption!) We are expecting Travel Approval in May and can't wait to bring her home in June!
What exactly is TEF/EA? A tracheoesophageal fistula is an abnormal connection (hole) between the trachea (windpipe) and esophagus. Esophageal atresia is when the esophagus is not connected to the stomach. When she was found, she was very sick with pneumonia and obviously wasn't getting any nutrients. She was sent to the hospital and underwent surgery to close the fistula and to reconstruct her esophagus to attach it to her stomach. She had another surgery about a month later to dilate her esophagus. After 2 months in the hospital, she returned to the orphanage. Although her TEF/EA was surgically repaired, the problem isn't technically "fixed." She will likely require further surgeries and/or have difficulty swallowing for the rest of her life. Children with TEF/EA often develop gastric reflux, chronic lung disease, and tracheomalacia. Approximately 50-70% of children have other birth defects as well. Her file mentions "congenital heart disease?" Twice. Just question marks but no details. So we will definitely get that checked when she gets home.
Based on her labs and photos, it appears she is doing really well! I mean, have you seen those cheeks?!
We are so in love! ♥
