People wonder, "If you wanted a son, why didn't you adopt a boy?" or comment things like, "Not many would want to parent so many girls, especially voluntarily." and "I feel sorry for your husband!" But we get the very special ones too, such as when an elderly couple sees our family at a restaurant and comes over just to say how blessed we are to have 5 precious little girls! Or when a friend messaged me after our recent announcement with "Wow! 6 girls!! Your husband must be in heaven!"
In the adoption community, there is sometimes shaming over adopting girls, especially very young girls. It's not just in the China adoption community either. Statistically, adoptive families seem to "prefer" girls for whatever reason. On the contrary, in the non-adoptive community, it seems everyone wants a boy! I end up feeling judged from both sides.
I try to let the negative comments go and soak in the sweet ones. After all, most people are just trying to make small talk. We never dreamed we would have 6 daughters, but here we are!
I try to let the negative comments go and soak in the sweet ones. After all, most people are just trying to make small talk. We never dreamed we would have 6 daughters, but here we are!
The truth is, we would have LOVED to have a son, but God is writing our life story and a son wasn't part of it, or at least not in the chapters we've lived so far. And I can't imagine life without any of the precious daughters He has given us.
When we were pregnant the first time, I wanted a boy. I loved having a big brother and wanted that for my family too. God sent us a girl.
When we were pregnant the second time, I wanted a boy. One of each would be great I thought! Then a friend said, "But what if Braylee never has a sister?" (Funny now, right?) So I decided either would be good. God sent us a girl.
With our 1st adoption, we knew we wanted a girl. It made sense. Easy decision. God sent us a girl.
With our 2nd adoption, we thought it might be our last child. We were open to either gender. We reviewed a couple of boy files and a couple of girl files. It was a tough decision. But in the end, it was obvious where He was leading us. God sent us a girl.
In March 2015, we received an unexpected email about a little boy in China. It was love at first sight and we started the process to adopt him. My heart already knew his name. But the next week, I cried when we found out he was being adopted domestically. It wasn't meant to be. Then the following day I found out I was pregnant! We thought, "How perfect! We will have a son and then adopt another son!" But guess what... God still sent us a girl.
We continued the adoption process during my pregnancy and were approved to adopt two kids. We thought adopting two boys would be even better than 1! Then China changed their rules in July 2017. They no longer allowed 2 adoptions at once and said a family could only have 6 minor children total, which meant we could no longer adopt 2 boys. That day, Alex said, "I think this means we should adopt another girl." We told our adoption agency we were still open to either gender, but when they called us about a baby boy with a minor need, we both knew that wasn't what God was calling us to do. It felt strange to say no to a healthy baby boy without even seeing his file, but the very next week, they called us about our Juan. God sent us a girl.
We never expected or planned to have 6 daughters, but it sure is a fun adventure!
Oh yes it will be! Can't wait to to see the "whole" family together!
ReplyDeleteYou are blessed with these precious girls of yours! God never writes our stories the way we figure they will be written but He is always faithful to lead us where He wants us. I feel priviliged to watch your family grow from the sidelines. Some of those comments most likely come from peeps that just don't "get it", that total trust and dependence that God knows best. I'm so excited for your family and a bit jealous as well hahaha!!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!! So happy for your family.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Wendy from Illinois