Bad News {and no more bottles!}

A few days ago, I took BellaMei to Riley Children's Hospital for a swallow study. I tried not to cry when they told me what I have feared since we met her in May. She's aspirating. 😥 The scariest part is that on the test, she was also aspirating silently (no coughing). I had assumed she was aspirating when she coughed on liquids, but she was actually doing it way more often than I even realized.  Even in China, I noticed her coughing on water from her sippy cup and brought it up with her pediatrician and the surgeon when we first brought her home. Neither seemed concerned. It seemed to get a little better over the summer but then I really noticed it often again in the fall. It took some pushing, but I finally convinced the doctors to order the test. (It was actually a nurse at Riley who listened to my concerns over the phone and encouraged the doctors to order the test!)  I feel so guilty that I didn't push for the testing sooner! Alex reminded me though that we were already thickening her formula (based on what the orphanage had told us she needed) so it was mostly just water that she was aspirating which isn't as dangerous. So now all of her liquids have to be thickened. She's not a fan of it yet, but hopefully she will get used to it.

I told Juan I was sorry and smothered her in kisses.
I shouldn't have waited so long to push for the testing. 😔

The speech therapist who did the testing told us to wean the bottle. I didn't tell her that using a bottle at this age is normal and encouraged in a newly adopted child...😶  But she also explained that Juan should get used to drinking from the same cup all the time so she's prepared for how quickly the liquid would come out. It's also better for her to keep her chin down when she swallows, which is not easy with a bottle, so I agreed, now is the time. It's probably a good thing we have a medical reason to wean the bottle because I'm still struggling with the idea of all these "lasts" with my baby.
So here she is with her last bottle.
No more babies. No more bottles.